I went back and renamed all of the chapters as of 12/21/2018
I wonder if anyone is reading this. Also chapter eight was really confusing g and I'm sorry. I just edited it to fix the mistakes.
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Valentina and I walked to my house. She didn't say anything for a little while. What went through her mind? Her face was blank, and her eyes were empty.
"Hey Valentina," I muttered. "Why are you so close to Cleo? Are you dating her or something?"
"Hm," the soft hum that escaped her matched the leaves that crunched under her feet. It was kind of chilly today. Her hands were in her pockets, but aside from that, she didn't seem to be shivering or anything.
"My brother knew Cleo; they dated for awhile. He introduced me to her, and we began to talk. I thought she was lovely at first, you know, but I was never attracted to her or anything," she laughed, "She was just perfect, and I enjoyed having someone so perfect in my brother's life." Her eyes shifted away from me.
The birds seemed to get louder as she spoke. A laugh escaped her lips. "I guess I was wrong... They're not dating anymore, so don't worry."
"They're not dating? Why not?"
"Things.. Happen you know?" Her voice trailed off. "It's probably better this way."
I wasn't sure if she was speaking directly to me or more towards herself... It almost seemed like she was thinking about saying something but holding back. But it didn't matter anymore, we had arrived at my house. My mom's car was parked outside. Wow, was she actually off work today?
"I'll see you later, Valerie," she smiled. I was almost sad watching her go... I liked being with Valentina. I found myself watching her as she walked away, the red strands of her hair wrapping around each other as the wind played through it. She was very peaceful. I liked that stability.
I walked into my house and heard my mom singing. She was loud and not tactful at all. It was a gospel song most likely. If I had to make a prediction, it was based on a new age church with strange beliefs.
Religion's never been my thing. When I got depressed, I kind of just stopped caring about my reason for existing... So my interest in the whether or not god existed kind of just disappeared too.
I walked upstairs and sat in my bed. My phone buzzed and continued to buzz for a bit. At first I thought someone was texting me but the buzzing kept going. I then realized my phone was ringing... It was weird. I usually called my mom and she never called me without texting me first (in fear of inciting my rage).
It was Cleo.
I swiped to answer the phone and heard Cleo's voice. "Hi Valerie~. I assume you're home now?" Her tone was almost shaky
"Mhm," I mumbled."
I heard a bit of rustling on her end before she spoke again, "That's good to here... I'm sorry if I was dramatic today. How are you? Can I come over today?"
I was almost overwhelmed by her talking. "That's a lot of words."
"I'm at your house."
"Haha?"
I looked outside my window. The goddess was outside my house. Her backpack was still on. It was kind of odd. Didn't she walk towards her house when we left the school... In the opposite direction.
"I'll come down," I said quietly.
I walked downstairs and opened the door. Her eyes were were slightly red and her cheeks were covered in dry tear stains. "Are you okay?" I asked. I hoped my mom couldn't hear us since she was singing so loudly.
She wrapped her arms around me and her grip tightened on me like a spider's web. She then quickly released me and I noticed specks of grass on her white frilly blouse. What had she been doing...?
"Let's go to your room if that's okay with you," she said and leaned forward towards me. Her presence nearly swallowed mine. At first I thought she'd kiss me, but she leaned away quickly. While I very much loved Cleo and admired her, I couldn't lie to myself and ignore the discomfort I felt about her sudden arrival. She was always near me like an omniscient god.
"I haven't cleaned-"
She shut the door behind her and entered my house before I could finish. I wondered what she thought of my mom's loud singing or the dinginess of our house. My mom almost seemed to sing louder as Cleo walked further into our house as if she sensed the presence of holiness.
She quickly disappeared upstairs. It was weird how she knew where my room was. I guess she could've seen me looking out my window. I followed behind her, drawn by the sound of the creaking of her feet on the stairs.
When she opened my door, the first words that escaped her mouth were, "Your room is so cute."
My room was almost empty with no decorations. My bed wasn't made and my walls were blank. Perhaps, Cleo saw the confusion in my eyes as she began to explain.
"I like emptiness. My room is filled with pictures and books and bad memories. Your room is a nice blank state. I'll clean it for you if you'd like."
"You don't have to."
She just laughed. "I will." She began to pick up things thoughtlessly. I sat on my bed and watched her. She hummed softly, blissfully. But, something still seemed off. The effortless grace seemed... flawed somehow. It was odd to explain. Perhaps after watching her from a distance for so long her mannerisms had become familiar to me. Was it strange to question the things I'd become so used to from a distance?
"Did something happen?"
She ignored me. I spoke again, a bit more clearly hoping she wasn't going to get mad.
"Are you okay, Cleo?"
Her eyes flickered towards me for a second, but she continued cleaning. I stayed quiet but stood up. I felt a bit bad watching her clean by herself since it was my room.
I put the clothes she had folded in my drawers and we cleaned in silence for a while. It wasn't as exhausting as I thought it was be. Actually, it was kind of nice... unnerving but nice.
I felt her arms wrap around me without warning. She held me still from behind and put her head on my shoulder. "I'm the worst," she mumbled. "I'm sorry I came here without warning and I'm sorry I followed you."
"It's o-"
"It's not okay. You're going to leave me because you're going to be scared of me because I can't stop and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry I'm like this. I'm sorry I didn't respond to you and just kept going through your room." Her voice was cracking, like pins stabbed through class. She sniffed quietly and mumbled, "I'm sorry I'm just the worst person ever..."
I closed my eyes and just let her cry into my shoulder. I didn't know how to respond. I'd never seen her cry before. I actually hadn't seen anyone cry in a long time.
"I don't think you're a bad person."
She left me go, and I turned around to look at her. Her usual caramel colored skin was now almost red. She held her hands to her eyes. "I'm sorry..."
"I don't know why you're saying sorry... You didn't do anything wrong"
"I do everything wrong. Valentina hates me. I followed you to your house. I have a boring club with strict rules. I'm the worst. Everyone is goes away because of me."
I held my hands to my chest and looked at the floor. What was I supposed to do. She wouldn't stop crying... Why was she crying? She was muttering to herself... And becoming more and more incoherent. I thought about calling Valentina, but I didn't want to upset her more.
I just stood there helplessly. Eventually she stopped crying and sat on my bed staring at her lap.
"I have some left over pizza from yesterday if you want some," I offered to her.
Her eyes landed on me as if she remembered I was in the room again.
"Can you come here?"
I didn't want to be in close proximity to her... I needed a break. But I still sat next to her.
She stared at me for a second and put her hand on my cheek. "You're so pretty darling," her attitude seemed to change. Her voice drizzled over me like sweet molasses. "I hope you know I'd never hurt you on purpose... I don't like to hurt people. Aren't angels suppose to be kind? In your journal, you called me an angel didn't you? Do you still think I am one?"
I nodded.
She wrapped her arms around me and curled her fingers into my hair. She kissed my cheek and her nails dig into my neck.
Her hands crawled down my back and under my shirt. My eyes widened. I leaned back a little attempting to put distance between us... Without even realizing... What was I doing? Isn't this what I wanted?
She let me go and quickly stood. Her face was still flushed, but the redness of her eyes had slightly faded.
"I guess I'll go," she said and smiled. She didn't look me in the eyes. "I love you."
I wanted to tell her I loved her too. But I just smiled before looking at my hands. My heart was beating really fast... I couldn't breathe. Part of me wanted to say sorry. Some of me wants her to continue. But I was just confused. Ethereal angel touch... I shivered. Everything was becoming blurry again.
I wrapped myself in my comforter and took my phone out of my pocket. I pressed shuffle on the top music of the year playlist. I didn't recognize a single song but I didn't care. Popular music wasn't very good to me, but it was nice to just have noise. But what was it helping with? Why did I feel like this?
I closed my eyes and focused on the loud music blasting throughout my room. Some girl singing about her boyfriends touch, her boyfriends smile, his eyes... I could replace each his with hers, and think of Cleo's touch. Lying with her and listening to her breath
My face began to burn. I needed to take a shower.