More Mabinogi fun. I've been going through the quest slowly. I tried to do the chainslasher quest but it beat my ass so I'm doing astrology stuff right now (which ideal anyways. I actually have the chainslasher stuff maxed out with my girl who wears a rabit parka

The Battle Astrologer is a new questline from what I understand though I'm not sure if Astrologer itself is new. The two characters the astrology line focuses on feel very refined and beautiful so I'd be a bit surprised if they were older, but also it'd be a pleasant surprise!

She's a sweetheart too. I like both of them a lot- almost equally- despite my preference for cute girls.

For the first time in years, I am engaging in yume shipping. This is hard for me as I simply feel beyond most things, but I like Blaanid a lot, and she's with you always. I like the idea of the character, Staurozoas, falling in love with Blaanid but sort of never really saying it becuase Blaanid is incoporeal most of the time.

I've gotten a better idea of it. I'm not really into shipping communities, but one of my commissioner's is super into it and often commissions yumeship stuff from me, so I understand from all the text she's given me how it works. Beautiful fanfiction that is for you only. Truly the most self indulgent of self indulgent. I will commission people too when I don't have to save so much. It will be a delight.

Speaking of income. I had the google app on my phone temporarily and it kept sending me fake news about stimulus checks lol so I deleted it. But I started talking to other lolitas. A lot of lolitas got into the fashion during the pandemic cause you know sitting at home, stimulus checks, etcetera. I was a teenager, so I never got any stimulus checks. I've bought all of my lolita with money I had to work for (unfortunately), but I began to wonder what I'd buy if I came into money like that again.

And the answer.. Is I'd put it away. LOL. The fake ads are usually around $2000, so I'd put $1400 towards rent and the rest in my savings. Maybe I'd fix my Steam Deck or something. I don't find myself desiring lolita lately.. My wardrobe isn't finished, but my relationship with EGL right now is just different since my wardrobe is so large and I own so much I like. More shoes is never a pain.

Anyways back to Yume Shipping ahah. So basically I have this gothic lolita character.

She's a darling right. I had to age her up for these photos since Mabinogi ties age to height. I decided to age her down when she got rebirthed since she'd age up anyways though I regret setting her so young. She's so short loool and the day I gave her the age up potion was the day characters age so when I logged back in, she turned 12!!

I dislike when she's small. I think she also dislikes it lol. Her face is more suitable when she's at least 16 or older since she has smaller eyes.  It likely enrages her whenever she's reset to this small. It's a lot funnier when I think of her in that context- so funny I'll likely age her down again for shits and giggles.

It ended up being funnier because I like to imagine she's in love with Blaanid though she'd never tell her. So she sees Blaanid again and now she's a gothic lolita as opposed to her previous appearance. She's also really short lol. All of the Milletians can reage whenever they want and I doubt Blaanid would care, but Staurozoa would be really embarrassed about it haha.

After some time she reunites with her and she probably hates that she's so small but Blaanid obviously doesn't seem to notice. It's 100x funnier because later Blaanid fucking shrinks. 

I think Staurozoa would be really shocked by Blaanid in this form haha, but then she remembers she also reages randomly and shrinks and likes being carried haha. Of course, it doesn't matter in the end. She and Blaanid would never be together because Blaanid is a spirit and Staurozoa is a human (ELF), but at same time, I don't think it matters that much to her either. She's happy Blaanid is always with her you see?

Mabinogi big ass RPG so I can just keep thinking about her and her interactions and interactions. It's nice growing her stronger. I hope to think about bunny parka girl too (Isaacia lol), but just focused on Staurozoa right now cause of Lesbianism. I hope to make a shrine like Bunny's shrine lol. May use the same CSS. We will see.

Also my sister made me show her Mabi lol.

i like her i am thinking about cosplaying her.. so much red

i really do wish i was dead a lot of the time recently- because of burnout. i wish i could keep working at pace i used to. i wish i could've recognize pushing myself constantly because everyone around me has brains made o f sludge and they think telling me to keep going when i've already tried to kill myself several times was stupid.

"keep pushing!" kill yourself! but well, as my jobless and mental illness increases, i do more stereotypical activities which is a delight of course.

cat cat cat

mabinogi is having this leveling event, and it's really been a delight. i have been too tired for lots of games.. it's hard to even read, so  having this event where i'm autopathing and clicking and rapidly leveling feels so good. and also, you know i like dressing up, but i haven't been motivated to make outfits even in games i like.. and i don't feel like it IRL a lot of the time. it's made not buying EGL easier though you know there's other drawbacks like having no desire to live or exist and planning to kill myself at the end of spring and everything.

i'm crying while writing but really i'm just silly lol...

the end of spring will be nice. iwon't have to go back home and be treated like shit and it's when i run out of money for the apartment. since i've failed to get a job~ and america hates autistic people~ and most autisitc people don't have jobs anyways~ 

cat cabaret

I made a new character for dressing up in random outfits. Getting her up to dark diviner level 10 with the rapid leveling event. There's a makeover event where you can wear a bunch of the clothes in game right now, and at the end of the event whatever you have rented you keep (one outfit). 

I like her.. I want to make more outfits but I really love her bunny parka. Kills me.

I just got killed in a dungeon like 12 times.. 

MMOs are hard but this rapid leveling.. It sort of makes me get the appeal especially after you get access to many things.. Some mechanics I sitll don't understand but I am having fun and am looking forward to learning them. Soon Insects and I will do some dungeons. I don't think any of my other friends will be playing though a party of two is always a delight.