9.21.22 | Console.WriteLine("${Update}")

I privated all of my entries from Seattle and prior because that was such a traumatic and horrible time in my life. No one would bear witness to it. I'm very happy with my lifestyle lately even if I occasionally freak out over tiny things. I'm proud of myself for healing and I'm happy I documented a lot of this. I was scared of my entries being public but I reread a fair bit of them and just left most of it public. I hope I can show someone healing is possible..

I'm in the honors college. I have friends, accommodations, a job, and hobbies. Things are okay.

Tomorrow I have work. I don't think I ever updated here about my job situation. I quit my first job after one shift and got hired at a burger place on campus. It's pretty easy. The shifts are just 8 hours and last FOREVER, but money is money. I think I get my first paycheck this Friday... Splatoon 3 here I come.

Um, but on to sadder news, my grandad passed away. This was a long time coming. I love him. I miss him. I loved the rare occasions where he'd recognize me and say my name. Sometimes he'd laugh at my sisters antics. I hope heaven is real and that he's having a good time there.

I'm going home this weekend because of it. I'm excited to see my family again. I hope it goes well.

9.10.22 | I Came to College to Get an Education

I often feel a lot of regret for not taking AP classes or Dual Enrollment classes in high school. I was too mentally ill to do so. After all, I was homebound for a few months and hospitalized twice. I would not survive the pressure of AP classes, but it would've given me space in my schedule to have two minors or to get a concentration in IT and Computer Science.

But, I have to remember the reason I came to college is to get educated. I know a lot of my teenage years was wasted being sick and sad. I want to improve my research and writing skills. I want to get better at math. I want to keep trying and improving as a human being. I know I wasted a lot of time in high school. I know I wasted a lot of time during my gap year. I know I got super traumatized, but it's okay because I'm in college now and it's time to improve.

This is just a reminder for myself. I'm okay. I'm doing great.