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Shimeji Simulation has a lot of profound things to say about isolation and growing up. did you know shimeji simulation was also published in a yuri magazine? i did not know this. well.

anyway, i had a long discussion with my friends when shimeji simulation ended. surprise surprise- a lot of people in my server were reading it at once. we ultimately came to the conclusion that shimeji simulation is a manga about isolation. you can be brought together by simple things like school, but that can all end in an instant due to a little thing called "growing up" and you are once again floating on your own little island.2.9.24


I looved She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat. It's been impossible for me to find good yuri recently. I feel as though I've read most of it. At one point I picked up a manga about a girl who falls in love with her older sister in law (i had a feeling it'd be bad, but i was really hoping it'd be.. some profound work about lesbianism. no. it was just straight man yuri cringe)

She Loves to Cook is a manga I knew was very good. I've known about it for months, maybe even years now. I just put off reading it because it was ongoing, and reading ongoing things gives me hives. I finally picked it up, and reading it called me to experience euphoria. I forgot how good it feels to read something by a lesbian catered towards lesbians that sparks warm feelings. It also talks about food. I love food. I love stories about food and eating.

The woman who loves to eat, Kasuga.. What a woman!!! She carries Nomoto's bag, she eats her food, the way she ties her hair bakc into a ponytail., her lack of reaction to things, the way she knows what she wants in life, she works out, she is so ready to go along with things suggested by nomoto.. she's such a dream.... wait i'm supposed to be talking about the manga not drooling over.. kasuga.. sorry..|

BUT REALLY. this manga is made for lesbians. THE MANGAKA GETS IT. SHE GETS IT SO MUCH. it also discusses some of the pains of being a woman. i think female readers could really take a lot from it- even if they aren't lesbians. it's just such a delight.

it also made me so lonely.. i wish i had a girlfriend... 2.19.24


Almost two months Mala!! Two months!! You left us starving for manga recommendations for two months!! How fucking could you!!
even worse.. i saw on your myanilist that you have been reading.. you just haven't been updating -_-
Well. Yes. I have been reading things but not updating my thoughts. According to MyAniList, I read Inside Mari two months ago. I actually think I read it lying in bed during exam reason. I wanted to feel miserable.

It's a very fascinating manga that kind of feels like it was made to appeal specifically to me. I think I had a hard time writing anything about this manga because it's impossible to say all of my thoughts without spoiling the entire thing. I will try my best.

I started writing a sentence then immediately. Failed.

Okay.. okay.. Inside Mari is an interesting work that could inspire a lot of repulsion in the viewer. Without knowing how it ends, you simply have to accept the story that comes to you.

As a lesbian, I really liked this story. I think people of other identities could really like this story too. I kind of felt like the straight commenters had a lot of things lost on them. It was kind of frustrating haha.

I'll try to reread this in the future and dedicate an entire page to it.. I'd like to dissect it bit by bit more freely. 2.9.24


18+

I read Maka Maka because I saw images of it on Twitter. The images were of two girls being intimate with one another in what appeared to be a romantic way. That was enough for me to add it to my to read list, and during a night where I could not sleep, I read Maka Maka until 4am.

Maka Maka is an erotica manga. I was kind of tricked by the description. "... It's about having someone who calls you the night of your birthday, when you're feeling down because you just slept with a guy who turned out to be a jerk, and thanks you for being born because she's so happy to have met you. What is Maka-Maka about? It's about Jun and Nene." While I expected it to have NSFW scenes in it, the entirety of it is just.. NSFW with not much else. I can't really understand why people on Twitter were calling it peak fiction.

Some of the moments of tenderness between Nene and Jun are really sweet, but I find it to be overshadowed by the fact that they continue to deal with misognynistic men throughout the manga. They seem to have an understanding of each other that only women can have together, and they know what the other likes. They do seem genuinely in love, and what kept me reading was some hope that they'd stop dating assholes and just get together. Spoilers, they don't.

While they don't get together or have a traditional relationship, I guess it doesn't make their love any less meaningful. They still expect to be in each other's lives forever. It's sweet enough I guess. Not really worth reading if you're not interested in erotica though... I don't regret reading it because I get to add it to my tower of yuri, but I can not deny that I am disappointed. 12.13.23


I first read Dr. Cataclysm in high school I believe, and a lot of it was lost on me because I'd read manga and comics at 3am in my bedroom as quickly as possible. I also read some of it as it released which made the story even more disjointed for me. I decided to reread it while sitting in the office today, and it was such a delight.

Dr. Cataclysm is about Janos Cola, a man who has been shot by a golden arrow that gives him powers. Well, it's kind of about him. It's really about friendships, people in life not being truly evil- circumstances making them that way, space travel, etcetera. The writing kind of reminds me of Adventure Time. It has a silly feel where things aren't quite logical while also being very sincere. Elements of the worldbuilding are similar as well.

It really did touch my heart and it inspired me quite a bit. The art style has these thick black lines that resemble an ink pen and it's in black and white. The characters have interesting silhouttes and designs despite the style being very simple a lot of the time. Well, deceptively simple. The art gets more complex over time, and the ships look fantastic in the final volumes.

I recommend Dr. Cataclysm. it's free on issue. It's also by Mortis Ghost, the artist and game dev of all time. 12.11.2023


This is a .flow doujinshi. The title on myanilist is .flow Kousatsu so that's what we're going with. .flow Kousatsu is the first time I've read a fanwork in years I believe aside from random sprinkles of chapters from friend's fanfiction. It's not that it completely disinterests me. I just don't find myself actively seeking out content like this. I found it because I asked my friend Bella for their favorite drawings of Smile and she gave me this as she said it had more of him.

It hits a nostalgia factor for me. Aspects of it remind me of my intense Creepypasta phase where I was obsessed with gore and serial killers with poorly written stories. Smile even reminded me of Jeff the Killer, like 2016 version of Jeff the Killer drawn by Creepypasta mansion fanatics. It really made me miss that time in my life.

The story is good, but the way it's told is a bit messy and hard to follow near the end. Perhaps this is due to the translation, but I think it may be the work itself? The mangaka includes a final page explaining exactly what took place in the doujinshi. It cleared things up a bit more.

It kind of piqued my interests regarding fanworks in general. Despite the fact that it's not really an intepretation of the events in .flow and more of the author using .flow's setting and characters as a vehicle for their own ideas, I really did enjoy it (aside from the sistercon jokes (were they jokes?(i don't fucking know))). It manages to get you attached to the characters, and you understand their motivations. The art style is charming and comes from that time on the internet where art was so fun to look at.

And of course it allowed me to see some intepretation of Smile c: What a fun character. He is now in my mind palace. 12.4.23


Alien 9 has been in my circle for years. I've been seeing glimpses of it on Tumblr on various aesthetic blogs, artists I follow absolutely love it, and I've seen some claim it has influenced artist such as Tsukumizu. I actually had a lot of thoughts on this manga that I thought of one night, but promptly forgot them, so we are winging it.

Alien 9 has a focus on elementary school girls. They're in the year before middle school. It discusses puberty and growing up in a way that might disturb a lot of people. While lying down at night after reading it, I remembered being in my child body when puberty was starting. When I think of that time now, it's absolutely repulsive to me, and I grieve the body I left behind despite the fact that everyone grows up eventually.

The manga captures that feeling.. That fear of getting older, the responsibilities forced on you that terrify you, your body becoming alien to you, adults completely ignoring your feelings for the sake of responsibilities. I went into it not realizing how depressing it'd be and my own older feelings it'd bring up. I should mention Alien 9 had been described to me as being about "middle school girl problems" which is why I put it off for so many years. It is honestly a lot more than that, and it helped me feel at peace with the child inside me I left behind so long ago. It wasn't just me who was terrified.

To add on, the art and body horror is striking. It's a very beautiful manga. I hope to get a physical copy of it someday because the scans online just aren't that great. I think the anime does a very good job capturing that beauty as well. I wish the entire thing had been animated as I really enjoyed watching it.

The more I think about it.. The more it becomes a favorite. I'm sorry for putting it off for so long. 10.17.2023


18+
I'm doing very bad mentally due to the Anxiety and numerous health issues, so I decided to read A Girl on the Shore by Inio Asano of Goodnight Punpun fame. It didn't tear me apart despite me hoping it would, but I didn't dislike it. It's a very graphic story about a girl having sex with a school friend and the emotional turmoils that come with it. It was actually way more graphic than I thought it'd be considering the subject matter (though it could've been far worse). I'm trying to figure out what to write.

When we're young, we do a lot of bad things to other people without realizing what our motivations are. We often don't choose kindness and have to learn it is a path we can choose as we age. It can require a catalyst for us to choose this path. Sometimes, by the time we realize it is an option, the relationship we cherish has been severed.

But even if the relationship has been severed, at least they affected you in some way. It sucks to look back on the grief you may have caused them, but at least you won't knowingly hurt anyone else the way you did them. 10.11.23


I haven't updated in almost 2 months. I'm sorry. I'm sure you're missing my criticisms that are mostly full of my personal experiences and me ranting about lesbianism. Apologies. It's hard to find time to read when you have 17 credits and too many hobbies.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I read BL Metamorphosis. I really enjoyed it. Not one of my favorites, but it was so sweet. It's about an old women who develops an interest in BL and then meets a girl who has an even bigger in BL. It's a very sweet story. I'm a sucker for older adults being friends with young folks, so it touched my heart.

I love old women in media as I during my Hanamonogatari write up. The way she was drawn was chef's kiss and the awkwardness of Urara, teenager is just really spot on. I don't want to spoil anything, but it's hard because all my favorites parts of spoilers. The ending kind of hurt me, but it wasn't very sad... It's just one those.. People do their own thing. Life goes on things. But just because life goes on doesn't mean the fun times lost meaning. 10.6.2023


Monster Girl Rechan is a one shot. You might've seen images of a girl with a bug mouth for a face.. This is where it originates.

It’s always kind of weird when people are nice to you because something is obviously wrong with you. It can take a while to notice at first. Everyone being nice to you makes you so happy, but then you notice no one calls you. No one texts you. They smile at you when you see them in person. They compliment your clothes, they share their art with you.. but they don’t really care about you. You’re still lonely.

I really enjoyed Monster Girl Rechan, but it made me sadder than most one-shots make me. But I always love when something like this ends up making me sad. 8.17.23


18+

Lol, okay so, when someone was telling me about this book, they accidentally described the plot of the wrong book to me, so I read this thinking something else would happen. Well, lol, surprise surprise, I get written sadomasochistic mentally ill lesbianism. I misread the author's name as Erica rather than Eric and assumed the writer was a woman, but the entire time felt like I was reading a story by someone who waas not a lesbian. Got to the end and realized it was a guy and realized reading at 5am probably wasn't the best decision.

It was really gross and had random descriptions that were there just to shock you or to go "oh she's sooo mentally ill look at this terrible thing" and it just really bothered me. There's one scene I absolutely despised because I just didn't think it belonged in the book. It was there just to be shocking.

Pregnancy is a theme in the book, and honestly, when I was reading I just kept thinking "this feels like it was not written by a lesbian." It results in a major plotpoint that is interesting but like... Idk. Everything in the book just "suddenly" happens it feels like and there isn't a lot of a character development. It doesn't feel like their relationship really forms- it kind of just begins. I guess it can be a reflection of Agnes's mental state allowing her to fall for someone so quickly. And Zoe just being a shitty person... I guess. I want to give the author the benefit of the doubt but if you're going to write lesbians, maybe don't write about one of us wanting to get pregnant... 6.25.2023


Convenience Store Woman was.. A comforting read? I guess? I'm not sure if that's the right word. The main character, Keiko, is obviously autistic, and the way she thinks about the world is similar to how I think about the world which I really enjoyed. But it also made me really sad. People cannot live peacefully in this world if they do not align with certain expectations, especially if they are women. They will always be seen as outsiders.

I'm curious as to how most people read this book, considering its popularity. Did they view Keiko as strange or as alien too? Especially regarding the social expectation aspect. It's interesting because birth rates are falling in Japan and NEETdom is on the rise. More people probably relate to it- the feeling of not being normal enough to fit in society. But that can't be the entire audience of the book right?

I can't completely wrap my head around why a large review called it heartwarming. It just reminds me of the fact that time is running out for people like me. What if I don't find my own convenient store after college? I guess it's comforting because she has the convenience store, and she's accepted that that's what she wants to live as.. but... a lot of us aren't finding places like that. We are idling. 6.25.23


Sexual Liberation, The Shape of Each Love 18+ is a manga I read a few days ago. There was a list on tumblr talking about lesbian manga authors and this one was mentioned. I really dislike the cover of this haha... >_>. Just gonna let you know that guy on the cover is interested in her romantically but nothing happens between the two of them because she is a lesbian and he is a Nice Person. Not sure why the mangaka put him right there LOL.

Sexual Liberation The Shape of Each Love is about an older woman in an office in a relationship with her coworker. It's not a very well-written love story, but it does tackle things like discrimination in the workplace and the perspective of people who tend to stay away from all LGBT issues until they realize it affects them. It's pretty hopeful and has a cute ending. It is 18+ though if that isn't obvious. 6.25.23


Note: Weight Loss / ED Talk

I really enjoyed Cousin. I think it succeeded in many of the areas In Clothes Called Fat failed in despite the fact that the main character's disordered behavior isn't nearly as extreme- she doesn't really have eating disorder from what I can tell. I will explain.

This story focuses on a girl who is fat at the beginning. She is pretty okay with her life despite people making a lot of comments on her weight and viewing as herself as average. She has slipped to an "average" role in life. She has a cousin who's very successful, beautiful, and thin which is why it's called Cousin.

She forms a crush on a man and loses weight to be a "better" version of herself for him, but I hesitate to say that he is the main she lost weight. I honestly think that there was another character in the manga who had a huge influence on how she viewed herself. A friend. He just wants her to improve and be beautiful and in his mind her improvement = losing weight. He seems to view bettering a woman's self as being a more attractive version of themselves. I really wanted to kill him. He's an interesting character because I think he reflects a lot of the people we can meet in life who don't realize how their comments are really ruining how we view ourselves.

The manga I think has a lot of commentary on how women exist and how people perceive them. I think the girlfriend of Shiro, who I can't remember the name of at the moment, is an obvious of example of this based on a the chapters she's prevalent in. I really liked the way she was written.

Good manga. I enjoyed it. Finally some good food. I just wish the ending had been slightly different. It was so close to being great, but I definitely this manga to people who enjoy post adolescence focused work / manga about relationships with food.6.18.23


Note: I talk in depth about eating disorders here, so don't read if this will trigger you!

I read In Clothes Called Fat while on a train ride. Very unpleasant read while going past pretty things. Not unpleasant in a poorly written way though. In Clothes Called Fat is about a girl with an eating disorder. She binges on food and gains weight and experiences other behaviors throughout the manga. I.. wasn't really ready to read this. I mostly found this manga because I saw a picture of lesbians in it on Tumblr and I thought "wow that are style is nice and I would really like to read about lesbians." The lesbians are only in a few panels but I don't regret reading it or anything.

As someone with eating disordered behaviors (I hesitate to say I have a full blown eating disorder), I always find media about eating disorders to be really interesting also triggering. Despite the havoc stories like this wreak on my mental state, I can't help but seek them out and consume them. In Clothes Called Fat is my least favorite of the stories about eating disorders I've consumed though... It's a very miserable read. A girl is treated terribly for her appearance by others, but I felt at times it was far too dramatized for me to really.. Feel like I was getting any insight in the life of a fat person which isn't a surprise. Myanilist said one of the tags was "drama." I just found it a bit disappointing. When the protagonist loses weight, I found the overdramatization of how people treated her when she was thin to hold the story back as well.

Of course, most eating disorder stories are dramatized (or even romanticized) if they aren't in the style of a documentary so it isn't like.. surprising. It's just.. There's a girl who gets an entire scam pinned on this girl and everyone around her just agrees to it which kind of ruins her life. Her boyfriend is such a pathetic man. Her coworkers are terrible except for one girl who is very eccentric but I struggle to identify her purpose in the story (though she was very cute and fun to watch despite the fact that her life also seemed to get ruined.)

I think one theme in the story is that people will treat you poorly whether you're fat or thin and there's negative sides to both. You will never be completely happy on either side, but it feels especially weird to read with my perspective. As someone who hangs out in eating disorder spaces and sees what people from various BMIs have to say when their weight fluctuates, many people at a higher BMI remark that they notice a lot of changes in how people treat them when they're at a lower BMI. I'd like to see Moyoco Anno's personal thoughts on this story.

In the end the most painful part is that the protagonist never really gets the help she needs. Perhaps I wasn't supposed to get much out of the story other than just looking at the life of someone in poor circumstances who believes that being a certain weight will fix those problems. And the circumstances are just so dire that there isn't much a change whether she is thin or fat. 5.21.23


Thera 1 is a story by Kyou Systems, someone I've interacted with quite a few times. They're a very pleasant person.

It's very short. It took me about 10 minutes to read.. It was made with Love2d which was fun to get running on the steam deck. I don't think there's a lot of love2d fans x linux users. Okay sorry for rambling. I discuss game now.

The vibes were immaculate. The artwork, sound effects, and music melded perfectly together to create the feeling of a surreal radio station. I really love surreal stories. The plot wasn't really revealed in this but the characters were introduced a little bit. I'd like to say more, but as I mentioned it is quite short. I'm excited to see read 2, whenever that comes to frution! 4.24.23


I read Memories of Emanon and Emanon Wanderer. My feelings regarding this is that the first 8 chapter part, Memories of Emanon, was very powerful. It left a very strong impression on me, and I had a delightful time reading it. The artwork is honestly some of my favorite I've seen. The story concept also appeals to me a lot in some ways and disinterests me in others.

Emanon Wanderer left less of an impression on me. I read it and felt it would be better suited for a novel. Sometimes, I felt that the way information was relayed could've been much cleaner though this seemed to be slightly acknowledged in the afterword as well. It felt a bit messy... Many moments would've been much more impactful if the story had been less fragmented. I also feel some of the appeal of Memories of Emanon is the ephemeralness of it, and I feel as though Emanon Wanderer doesn't quite capture that feeling though it attempts to.

I definitely recommend reading Memories of Emanon as I think it stands on its own and perhaps reading Emanon Wanderer if you want to see Ema doing more things. I feel there are moments of genius in it- they're just a bit obscured by everything else. The art continues to be beautiful though. Honestly, it might be worth reading for the art alone. 4.5.23


I read menhera-chan. The mangaka wrote it when she was 15, and redrew a lot of it over the course of two years and finished when she was 17. I didn't know this before starting, but it makes a lot of sense knowing it now.

It's about a mentally ill girl named Menhera and her friends. One of her friends has physical issues and an obsession with BL. Her other friend is very normal. The manga begins with the 4-koma silly comics I dislike, but I quickly began to warm up to it. Some of it was relatable to me as a mentally ill person on meds, but what really got me into the story was the slow growth and progression of the characters.

The art was also really cute... I should mention that the mangaka passed away at a young age. I wish I could've seen more stories from her. I hope wherever she is, she is resting peacefully. 3.24.23


I finally finished The Rust Maidens on my plane ride back home. It was recommended to me by my friend Zed (thanks Zed!), and the first work of hopefully many I've read by Gwendolyne Kiste. It's an exploration of a women's trauma after she has watched her friends slowly turn into Something Else. It almost made me cry on the plane haha.

The women in this book were very good.. The way it explores what it is like being a woman in a place that's slowly dying... It also felt like it reached me a bit more 3.?.23


Okay. Okay so. I need to talk about My Love Story again. I always think about coming back to manga but this is the first time I truly felt Compelled.

I want to give it more credit. The type of masculinity written in My Love Story is something I've never seen before, and the love between Suna and Takeo makes me really happy. I genuinely think it's one of the the best friendships I've seen in a manga... I used one of the panels I look at regularly for this so you can Understand. It makes me feel a way I rarely feel.. I wanted to acknowledge that before moving on. I really am happy I read My Love Story despite me thinking I wouldn't care for it very much originally. It did reach me. 2.20.23


I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a video playing a vocaloid song over a panel of a boy crying listening to music. I thought "well I want to be miserable" and sought out the manga! Surprise surprise, it's a one-shot collaboration behind the creator of Chainsaw Man and mangaka who is creating a manga called "To the Strip of Flesh" (I had never heard of this but perhaps I will read it.).

It was a read about overintepreting the simplistic... As someone who definitely likes to look way too far into things, I find it entertaining, but also, it's really FUN analyzing media until there is Nothing left to analyze even if the author didn't intend for it to be read that way. Of course, you have to think about the fact that this is by the creator of Chainsaw Man, probably the most popular manga at the moment about a boy who is part chainsaw. It's acclaimed for it's genius while others tear it down for being just another shonen manga. Make of that what you will. 2.19.23


Wow! My Love Story? A story with a heterosexual romance! I'm really stepping out of my boundaries.. Hahaha. Well, I can't quite remember what caused me to pick this up. I guess I was intrigued by the premise of a stereotypically unattractive protagonist falling in love. It was a cute little read and exactly what I expected. I'd complain if I had expected it to be any better.

It's the average high school romance with the the very bizarre plot points that come out of nowhere to keep the story interesting. It made me realize I think I prefer slow burns... Or maybe not slow burns but.. I like when the romance happens a bit more gradually... The protagonist gets with the romantic interest very quickly and at first I thought, "ah high school romance" and expected it to just last in high school but.. They stay together throughout the entire manga.

The protagonist is very lovable. He has a desire to be manly, yet lacks the toxic masculinity part. The girls are cute without being sexualized. Some of the characters are interesting while others are a step away from moe blobs. There's a character who's a bit creepy but I can't help but being entertained by him.. It seems like the mangaka read Jojo and thought "I have got to put one of these fuckers in my manga." He's memorable and his arc was kind of funny even if it was a bit strange. I like his flavor of mental instability.

I think if you like silly romance you will enjoy this.. It's not compelling at all though... I got to chapter 13 and thought about dropping it but.. I was.. In love with Sunakawa. I know I just said the manga wasn't very compelling but his friendship with Takeo really kept me going. It was such a delight- I just wanted to keep reading. Some people consider him aromantic which is very fun. He's an attractive boy who girls love but he completely lacks interest in them. In fact, romance seems to make him uncomfortable though he makes sacrifices for Takeo. I have my favorite panel of him saved and I sent it to my friend who I thought would say the same thing to me if I was sad.

The manga also got quite a few laughs out of me.. It made me want to read more things classified as comedy. I recommend it even if I consider a bit boring! It wasn't a drag and if you like silly high school romance and want something that doesn't feel like it's written by a creep, this is good. 2.19.23


Hanamonogatari (Hana Monogatari?) has one chapter out, so I probably should've waited to write this, but it was such a delightful read that I really wanted to share it.

First! I really love old women in media! I mean I love older characters in media in general but especially older women (my favorite characters in Ghibli movies are often the old women). I saw this and lost my fucking mind haha.

Hanamonogatari is a girl's love manga about an elderly woman who has just lost her husband finding joy in another woman who does her makeup. I don't want to spoil anything, but it was exciting to see the old lady be.. Such a lesbian (or bi woman). Finding another woman and realizing immediately how lovely she is.

The woman's inner dialogue is funny. It's stuff I'd probably think as an old woman (and some stuff I think about now as I worry about aging.) There was one specific thing that made me laugh as it's something I often think about now. Also the way her husband is characterized really makes you love this woman more.

The love interest is really... Oh god I love her despite not seeing her for too long. I won't say why but you will probably like her too! I'm so excited to see this manga continue. It's just such a delight. I was having a rough day then read this, and it really just put a pep in my step.

My main critique is that.. At times I feel like the characters should look older than they are! I understand their designs though as someone who draws. I think they still read as elderly women most of the time.

If you like romance or are looking for an older protagonist, please read this manga!!!! 1.31.23


This is called About a College Girl Who Gets Picked Up at a Mixer by an Older Girl (quite a mouthfull). It's 68 chapters though I've read all the translated ones. There's 43 right now, but it updates every few days so it'll be finished in no time. I feel like my thoughts on it won't change by the end, so I might as well just talk about it now.

It's a very simple yuri about the daily life of an older girl and her college aged girlfriend. It was nice to read as a college aged girl who fantasizes about an older woman falling in love with me.. That's really all though. It has the trope of the friend who's like "Wow a pretty girl! Maybe I like women too?" Which made me laugh. My favorite chapter is the one where the older girlfriend explains to her girlfriend how cup sizes work. Spread knowledge amongst the masses...

If you want something easy to read and are tired of slice of life about high schoolers, this is nice! It's cute. The jokes are nice. The side characters are pretty delightful (the younger sister is especially cute), and there's plenty of content to get through if you want something to occupy your time though I read all the translated chapters in one night haha...1.31.23


This is an 18+ entry. I'VE BEEN FOOLED. I'VE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. Also sorry for two 18+ entries so close together haha.

Bad Thought Diary... It was supposed to be a cute manga about a friend having a sex dream about her friend and realizing she's in love with her!! and it FOOLED ME. It was that at first, but you know what.. It's my fault. I didn't read the big drama tag, but you know.. I didn't expect the drama to be.. So bad.

Like.. GIIRL. GIIIIRL. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH OF THIS COULD'VE BEEN AVOIDED IF THE PROTAGONIST WASN'T An idiot? OR IF YUNA JUST LEARNED TO SMACK SOMEONE!!!! Oh my god. Oh my god. Drama can be really well done I feel, but it was just really poorly written here. Especially considering the person causing all of this drama is just a manipulative college student.

I read like 31 chapters of this but there was such a dumb plotpoint that I had to drop it. I couldn't do it anymore. It's not fair.

And you know I expected it to be better because I'm pretty sure the artist is a lesbian, but there's like a borderline rape scene that happens and you know.. It was really disturbing. Can't trust anyone to write yuri and be normal about it i guess.

Sorry this is probably the most ineloquent and ranty thing I've written so far. I really was disappointed by this manwha. It's the first thing I read this year, and I just really wanted cute lesbian content. I'm going to download a bunch of lesbian visual novels to my steam deck and it will fix me. 1.2.23


Hello darlings! It's the New Year! Well it was. Four minutes ago. Now it's officially the 2nd. Anyway, gonna about my thoughts on HEARTLOVEPOWERTEMPLE. Yaaay.

I actually read this a few months ago... Many months ago.... Not sure when exactly. Anyway! My friend Zed and I were talking about it because he just finished it, and I decided it'd be fun to write about it. I'm going to start with praise.

The artwork is beautiful. It is illustrated and written by yogurt200.. I was most excited to see all the sprites and backgrounds and it did not disappoint! The music was also lovely. I still remember my favorite tracksmonths later.. Not sure what the title was but I Remember it.

Hmm... My main memory of HEARTLOVEPOWERTEMPLE is a big critique I had. It has been bothering me for quite some time and talking about it with Zed has resulted in me writing this entry.

I think.. A core of theme of HEARTLOVEPOWERTEMPLE is friendship, love, and devotion, but.. There is a character who suffers throughout the visual novel, and I could only describe as bizarre and painful to read (because it was well written and it sucks to see a character you like suffer.) I have to avoid saying some things because of spoilers, but I will leave you with this.

One important theme in Revolutionary Girl Utena is the unnecessary suffering within society, and how you should not play a part of it. Have you read Those Who Walk Away from the Omelas? You've probably heard about it at least... A utopian city that relies on the suffering of a child.. There are other important stories that talk about how figures in power causing suffering for the good of the world. Those stories often leave you thinking about the state of our society you know..
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But it feels like the characters' causing this character's suffering are framed as the ultimate good. yogurt200 plans to write other stories in this world, and I'm hoping we get some more expanding on the characters' because it really bothered me. It also felt like the friends of this character just.. Didn't have a very big reaction to all of it. (I'm trying to avoid spoilers), and it's.. So strange in a story full of love. When I got to the end, this plot point kind of.. Ruined it for me. Perhaps one reason is that it reminds of actual religious abuse tactics.. But this time, it's literally caused by an actual god... And that's quite frightening.

Now, these moments are written as horrifying which leads to me to hope that perhaps the characters' that cause the suffering.. might be horrifying rather than framed as good. It's just hard to tell because the main characters just don't seem to criticize them at all. In theory, you could see it's a masterful writing of how religious abuse effects people, but unfortunately, I don't think that's the case based on the ending. I could be wrong though. We'll have to see in future works.

I still think it's a good piece of work despite this thing bothering me so much that I've been mulling it over for months. I really like unique fantasy worlds, and I'm hoping at some point in her next work this thing that happened is addressed in some way. I need the goddess's actions and feelings about this situation to be talked about....

Anyway this took about six hours to read? So I tried to avoid all plotpoints even using the word goddess is a bit of a way to avoid spoiling a plotpoint. And be aware, I still really like this VN. I even drew one of the main characters'! I would not write about it this many months later if I did not like it <3 1.2.23


This is an 18+ entry. The title is "Fucking Trans Women" #0. The author passed away recently as a result of cancer. Rest in peace. I wish I’d been able to speak to you.

For some time now, I’ve been feeling a strange repulsion by sex. I think it’s the result of pornography depicting the same acts over and over again. Porn scares me. It looks like no one is having fun, and sometimes, people are obviously being hurt. I associated penetration with violence, being bare in the presence of another human being as distressing, and I decided I’d never let anyone come near me. I knew in theory there was love in sexual acts, but it just seemed so vile to me.

It’s probably obvious I have some trauma as well, but honestly, it feels hard to find a girl without trauma in this world of ours. Why would I view an act of passion as something that could be good when it is often depicted as a tool for dominance and violence? Often, the earliest exposure many humans in the 20th century have to sex is through pornography.. And I think that’s so terrible.

This zine really made me see some things clearly. I struggle to put my thoughts into words without revealing too much about myself, but this zine made me love my own body more. I love the human body, all bodies, even if I am afraid of them. And this increased my love so much more. Mira Bellwether’s description of her own body led me to thinking about my own. It feels like cracks in the shell I’ve grown to separate myself from other people have bits of light shining through. Maybe it would be worth it? To connect with someone in that way?

I am still afraid of others, but at least I find beauty in pleasure.

The art and writing of trans women is always astounding me. I love you all dearly, and you continue to make me love myself and you with everything you create. You are in my heart. Once again, rest in peace Mira Bellwether.12.26.22


I am now trying to exit the depression coccoon I've embedded myself in, and the first step towards doing that is by reading.. I think. I haven't updated in almost a month haha. Anyway, Usuzumi No Hate! There's only 8 chapters, but I think I've read enough to have a solid opinion of it.

Usuzumi No Hate is another post apocolyptic manga. Rather than the folly of humans resulting in their end, it was aliens. I had a conversation with my friend Zed about this manga so I will be paraphrasing a lot of what we talked about.

I really want to love Usuzumi No Hate. The art is lovely and unique. The cross hatching is gorgeous, and it's one of those manga that try to have interesting things to say about the human condition.

There are poignant moments. Chapter five has a scene that did make me feel the desperation the author was trying to get across...

I hate to compare manga, but it kind of reminds me of Girl's Last Tour but not as good. Each chapter has its own storyline that is supposed to make the reader think, but the protagonist of Usuzumi No Hate is very quiet. Quiet storytelling can be really effective, but I just don't think it works very well in this story specifically.

In Girl's Last Tour, Chi and and Yuuri talk to each other often though there is often silence as well... It's a very nice balance. The protagonist of Usuzumi No Hate kind of just.. She sometimes reacts but it just feels.. Empty. She has the ability to express empathy. She carries around a tiny pet with her. She sometimes experiences sadness or shock, but she doesn't really say anything. I really like quiet protagonists and I do like this character, but I think the manga really would benefit from some of her insight.

Also I really dislike chapter 4. I have to admit it likely lowered my opinion of the manga a bit. I skimmed some of the other chapters before writing this, and despite my criticisms, I think it's a fine piece of media and I will continue reading it unless something happens that makes me dislike it. And if you haven't read anything like Girl's Last Tour, it's nice introduction to this kind of media. Girl's Last Tour does what this manga is trying to do much better, but if you like that story, you'll probably like this one.12.21.22


I read Welcome to NHK and had an interesting conversation with my friend about it about it because it's.. A unique piece of media with critical acclaim.. Though I'm aware some people consider the manga the worst adaptation.

Originally, I did not like Welcome to NHK at all. It was not what I expected. This was until Misaki got further development. Her development really peaked my interest. I can't really say what the deal with her is without spoilers, but in the conversation I mentioned earlier I said "I really can’t imagine her being written differently and still ~enjoying~ Welcome to NHK."

Welcome to NHK isn't also completely aimed at me as a girl who doesn't consider themself deep in otaku culture, but at some point I was a NEET. It was absolutely miserable. I grew fearful of leaving my house. Once, my friend invited me out and all day I thought about cancelling because I was so scared something would go wrong.

I would still be a NEET if I didn't get scholarships to go to college, and sometimes, the lifestyle calls back to me... The comforting but suffocating feeling of living in your room playing games and watching anime or playing dating sims for days on end... It sounds heavenly at times even though I know for me, it only leads to misery. I know if college doesn't work out, I'll likely end up in that place again.

Some parts of Welcome to NHK really felt like looking into a distorted mirror. It wasn't quite me, but it was someone I could've been.11.22.22


Hm, this was one of the most miserable pieces of media I've read. It really.. hurts. To think about what abuse did to you. Could I have been a better person if I hadn't met you? What would I be like if I hadn't been told that particular thing when I was younger? Am I missing love? Should I love you? I still think about you all the time even after what you did to me. I was hoping you'd get mad at me and end it all. Let me tell my final lie.

I really wanted to be killed by you. And.. Honestly, I still love you after all this time. I wish you could stop making me so miserable. I hate you so much.11.14.22


I picked this up from the ShortBox Comics Fair. It made me so sad. I try to avoid things that are this sad, but I was a fool. The art just looked so beautiful in the previews Hana Chatani posted on twitter. I wanted to buy and consume it... I felt the characters' grief. It's been days since I read it and I still feel it now. It's a carefully thought out story and very well told. If you get the chance to pick it up, (I have no idea when Chatani will release this again now that this ShortBox Comics Fair is over) I recommend it! 11.6.22


Shimeji Simulation is by the mangaka of girl's last tour, so i expected it to be good, and well it was. it took a moment for me to warm up to it. i've never been to fond of manga in the 4 koma style.. the only other one i've read is Poor Poor Lips and that was years ago.

I had a little theory about Shimeji Simulation that was proved true in the last few chapters which brings me a lot of joy. a story which can be predicted has laid its groundwork rather well. the characters in shimeji simulation are all enjoyable. Shijima's older sister.. I think about her frequently.

Shimeji Simulation isn't finished yet, so expect me to come back to this one. 10.30.22


Another post apocolyptic work. This one really reached me. It's more "We are living our daily lives at the end of the world," but unlike Yokohama Kaidashi Kikuo, this has tragedy.. The art in this is beautiful. The mangaka really gets across that they are exploring the end of the world. The setting is very fascinating as well. It takes place in a city with multiple levels with interesting technology. I really like Ishii. The chapter Oblivion really reached me. It caused me to feel a great sadness. I'll definitely come back to this manga and write a longer page on it one of these days.10.9.22


I really enjoyed Uzumaki. I hate to sound like I am repeating myself but it is now one of my favorites. It was an interesting read as a psychotic person (I realize this was unintentional. I will probably write about it). It was also horrifying. There was one image in here that shocked me. I'll just say it was in the hospital chapter.

I'm really excited for the anime next year. I want to say more, but.. Psychosis write up coming eventually!!! 10.9.22


I really liked this manga. It is now one of my favorites of all time. It's a post apocolypse work (genre I love) about an android running a cafe. It's a very beautiful work with an air of melancholia I adore. The characters age and you relate to them losing their childhood as they grow older. The character Alpha is wonderful though my favorite was Kokone. I found her relatable. There's also another reason she's my favorite which is probably very obvious if you read the manga haha.

Anyway, the beauty of the end of the world really shines through. It's something I love. This made me want to read more things like this.... Maybe I will read Girl's Last Tour next or pick Nausicaa back up.10.4.22


I reread My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness yesterday. It feels more relevant to me than last time I read it now that I am working and in school and my complete lack of understanding of how to socialize is really crippling my life. Kabi Nagata's relationship with gender continues to be relatable to me, and the desire to be held by an older mature woman.. I understand T_T To feel comfortable and safe..

It was really uncomfortable to read, in a good way (this is true of all of Kabi Nagata's works). There's a lot of pain in this manga and I hope it helps people understand the agony of mental illness. There was a part in it about looking for a place to belong. She turned to work for this.. At my old job, my manager said we spend more time with each other than we do with family. Isn't that interesting to think about? I feel really stressed when thinking about relationships at work. I think that's probably why. 10.3.22


The manga Our Dreams at Dusk: Shimanami Tasogare has been on my reading list forever. I was just craving another manga with LGBTQ themes and wow, I'm really happy I read this one. Our Dreams at Dusk is about gay people renovating buildings (this is a simplification). It has a very honest depiction of people of different identities supporting each other throughout each other's lives. I felt seen by the character Anonymous (I believe she is called Someone in the official English release). It felt like the author had looked into my heart and made a character especially for me. This means there's other people on Earth who understand Anonymous (including the writer). There's other people like me in this world. It makes me want to cry.10.1.22


Another manga by Ebine Yamaji! I read it last night. Indigo Blue is a story about cheating. There is no way around it. It really makes you dislike the protagonist, Rutsu. There are other reasons to dislike the protagonist as well, but I think Ebine Yamaji is well aware of this. It was an interesting read. The love interest of Rutsu is very likable to me though you know very little about her. I wish we'd been able to spend more time with her.

I always enjoy reading Yamaji's work because it reaffirms that I am a lesbian. The way she describes her character's feelings are so relatable to me. Seeing how a lesbian navigates her relationship with a man while having a lover on the side was fascinating even if it was a bit painful.I'll probably reread it again in the future. 9.22.22


I read Junji Ito's Cat Diary a few months ago. It was so cute. So cute. Oh god I love cats. I'm a dog person, and so is Junji Ito, but this manga really made me fall in love with those little creatures. Junji Ito's wife is funny and the illustrations of her never failed to make me laugh. The cats, Yon and Muu, are the most adorable creatures. It's always fun to see their personalities. 9.22.22


Daily Jojo is a webcomic by Donggeon Lee, the creator of one of my favorite comics, Yumi's Cells. I've been reading it for a while. Embarrassingly enough, I must admit one of the cliff hangers got me and I spent 99 cents to see the next chapter. It was worth it. Something I'd long been waiting for happened and I shouted "that's what i've been waiting for!!!!!" It was so exciting for me. I really love Donggeon Lee. He's a fantastic writer.

I haven't even mentioned what it's about. It's about the friendship of Eunjo Lee, a messy office worker, and Wan Jo, a very put together office worker. They rub off on each other. I really connected with Wan Jo and feel for him. Both characters are really likable. I wish I could read it nonstop all the time. The chapters are at a nice sweetspot9.21.22


I really enjoy Belzebubs. I read bits of it on Instagram a few years ago though Instagram just isn't very great for reading webcomics.. I lost track of where I was because it's Instagram. Anyways, the creator has been uploading it to webtoon. It brings me a lot of joy. While I'm not a satanist, I am goth so seeing these goth-adjacent characters living their happy horrific lives brings me a lot of joy. It's one of the few slice of life works I enjoy. 9.21.22


Love My Life is a manga with a lot of gay people and a likeable straight character. It is the first work I read by Ebine Yamaji, and I think of it fondly. I actually watched the movie first, and they're very similar.. There's aspects of both I like more than the other. The worst thing is that the movie it does not depict Take-chan's boyfriend.. And also... I feel like the movie makes Ichiko a bit too blameless in one situation. If you watch the movie or read the manga, you might know what I'm referring too.

I think Ebine Yamaji has a thing for lesbian skinheads. 9.20.22


I read Free Soul yesterday, so this is fresh on my mind. I really like Ebine Yamaji's stories. Partially because she seems to really enjoy drawing black characters. It sparks a lot of joy. She always does a really good job too!! But the main reason I got into her work is because I was searching for yuri with adult characters.

My feelings regarding Free Soul.. I enjoyed her other work Love My Life a more. The characters in this story were likeable, and the story itself was solid, but.. I disliked the ending. It felt like I needed a bit more to time to justify it.9.20.22


Chainsaw Man was a really good read. I read it because I saw Dorohedoro fans talk about it, and I love Dorohedoro!! The title is literal!! It's the tale of a chainsaw man. I'm really looking forward to the anime coming this fall. I'm curious how they'll deal with how fast paced it is. There were pages of action much like Dorohedoro. I'm excited to see Power on screen. Did you know I actually drew Power a few months ago? I should add it to the gallery.

I got a bit off topic. I think Chainsaw Man has very interesting things to say about love. It is a core theme. I also really enjoyed the twists and turns of Chainsaw Man. It was really difficult for me to predict what would happen next. Sometimes... I think of the ending and go "haha what was that?"9.20.22


My Wandering Warrior Existence... I read this a few months ago. I found it on the shelf at Barnes and Noble and spent the last of my money of it as a big Kabi Nagata fan. It really made me think about marriage and what it means to me. As someone who struggles with interpersonal relationships and can't imagine using a dating app or trying to pick someone up at a bar, it really reached me. The discussion of gender also made me laugh as someone who also doesn't really have the energy to think about gender.

There's also a rather description of csa in this manga just as a warning to anyone interested in reading it. There's a warning in the manga itself and a page to skip to. I'd like to write about the first books in Kabi Nagata's series after I reread them.9.20.2022


I really like Kabi Nagata and enjoy all of her works. Of her work, this is my least favorite one though contains the quote "To Japanese people, alcohol is alcohol" which made me laugh.

I always feel a deep sadness reading Kabi Nagata's work. This did not evoke that deep sadness for me. I believe Nagata was struggling with how to approach writing about her personal life, and she discusses it in this manga. It really shows in the writing.9.20.22


I started The Guy She Was Interested In Wasn't A Guy At All a few days ago. It's cute. I used to read lots of yuri in high school, so reading this was a nice throwback to that time in my life. The updates are really short. It reminds me of reading old school webcomics. The title really explains the premise. Girl meets a guy, forms a crush, and Surprise! The guy is actually an androgynous girl. I have no strong feelings about it really. 9.20.22


Yumi's Cells was a webtoon by the artist Donggeon Lee. I read throughout high school. It was a refresher. I'm really fond of stories about adults. I think modern day media has a strange fixation on youth, so seeing Donggeon's work about office workers makes me very happy.

You go through the life of Yumi and her cells. Her cells represent her various emotions such as love, lust, hunger. It taught me some things about love. It ended during my senior year of high school, and I was so happy to reach the conclusion but grieved over my comfort webtoon no longer updating.9.19.22


It has been many years since I read My Little Monster. At first I thought I was a freshman in high school, but it's worse than that. I must've been in my second or third year of middle school. I remember reading it on the computers in my creative writing class. I based my emotions on Shizuku Mitzuni's.. I don't think I can ever reread this manga as it is definitely not as good as I remember. I tried to once, and the rape threat in the first volume made me close it forever. Middle school me loved the characters because they reminded me of myself. I'd never seen a slice of life manga with such extreme degrees of mental illness. I'd never seen protagonists quite like Shizuku and Haru. It felt like they were placed in the wrong genre, but for me, it felt like home.

I still have some of the pages from My Little Monster saved on my tumblr and they remind me of the feelings I felt in middle school. The endless loneliness, the days repeating, my disconnect from others. I can't bring myself to read My Little Monster again, but some part of me still believes there are sparks of genius in that strange manga. 9.19.22


I read My Heart is A Chainsaw while on my way to college. It was part of my aspiration to read more books as I was an avid reader as a child but fell off... This was an exciting start. The book quickly engrossed me. The protagonist is an indigenous girl named Jade living in a gentrifying town. She has an obsession with slasher filmns and the events in her life seem to be mirroring that of one of her films. The question is: is she delusional or is the world around her really that of a horror flick? It was a long read, but I read it nonstop over the course of 4 days.. On car rides, in amusement park lines, at restaurants. I hope to read more by Stephen Graham Jones. It's part of a trilogy actually. The next book is already out.. If I had money I'd buy it. 9.19.22


I think I read Sweet Home during my senior year of high school or maybe sometime afterwards. It was a very good read, and I'd recommend it to anyone who wants to start reading webtoons. It makes you understand Why people spend so much money on fastpasses. The cliff hangers are good, the characters are very well-written. The story is excellent. My primary issue with it is that it is a bit short. The conclusion made me wish for more.. I need to reread it.9.19.22