Here is my collection of opinions I randomly grow over time. Many will disagree. That's fine.

ERO LOLITA

• Okay, this might sound crazy as a big Mitsukazu Mihara fan, I don't think ero lolita is real.. WAIT.. I think this because I have worn "ero lolita" many times. I have worn entire OPs made by "ero" brands, but I am still usually just considered goth. Methinks Ero Lolita is a Western Construct born of our modesty obession
• I feel this more strongly because a lot of popular ero lolita example pictures I see is just like.. a girl with her cleavage visible which is a bit weird to me. Many of those coords wouldn't be in ero examples if someone with a smaller chest wore them. 
• I just think, naturally, goth and punk have many elements of fetish but modern lolita has a general anti-sex attitude resulting in ero lolita being "seperate." I don't blame lolitas for this though. People keep sexualizing us against our will.
• At the same time, it's bad. I think I wear a lot of things that would get a curvier lolita criticized but I am not seen as "ero" or "immodest" because I am skinny.
• But, well, I don't think throwing a harness onto a dress magically makes it ero. I just think its goth/punk. People say it's hard to pull off ero, but admittedly, I think gothic and punk lolitas do things that are "ero" all the time.
• I like fetish/erotic stuff in lolita cause I think erasing the edginess of early EGL is lame as fuck... And I just like it aesthetically. I am a lolita who likes punk and goth. I'm not an "ero lolita." I just am edgy.

CHINESE BRAND

• Plenty of Chinese brands are unable to be differentiated from Japanese brand, especially if it made of cotton or lacking prints.
• But even then, I don't think the goal is to be the same as JP brand. Methinks Chinese lolita that is obviously Chinese is also cute, just different. I like to experiment so it's fun.
• I genuinely think the lolita community has a very big Sinophobia problem with Chinese brand specifically. It doesn't even encompass Chinese-made items, just Chinese brand. It's okay to not like CN brand but the assumptions made about the production process behind EVERY Chinese brand is a bit deranged.
• A lot of my takes apply to plainer dresses. I am not a big print fan.

SUBSTYLE NAMES

• Casual lolita is somewhat "flawed" as a substyle as the way it was used in the 2010s was a style of dress rather than being "casual." I do like casual lolita as a substyle, but I also like toning down my coords. It means that there is confusion about coords I wear casually vs my coords that are casual lolita
• I admittedly think a lot of substyle names are silly though. A goth coord is now considered goth when it's a sweet dress in black. I am considered a more traditional gothic lolita by my peers typically but I feel as though I wear a lot of sweet dresses in black or bxw white colorways
• This ties back to my feelings about ero lolita in many ways where I feel a lot of ero lolita isn't really defined by much of anything other than having the edgier elements of gothic/punk.

MEN

• I wish male lolitas wouldn't go into lolita spaces and go "I'm a guy can I do this," mother fucker, MANA SAMA EXISTS
• I think lolitas placating the feelings of men is becoming extremely annoying when "Can men wear this" can easily go in a big FAQ
• I think men in general have a habit of going in female dominated spaces and being anxious when in truth, I just think as long as you aren't violating people's boundaries, things are generally fine
• I also dislike it because there are plenty of trans men who wear lolita who are chill about it, yet, cis guys feel like they HAVE to go in these spaces and ask these questions. We should stop tolerating it.
• My takes on sissies are that sissies wouldn't be so hated by lolitas if they knew what a boundary was. I have a general disdain for everyone into things like sissification, ddlg, etc, because those people historically lack boundaries in girly spaces and have been a scourge in every single cute community since early Tumblr days.
• I am indifferent to people's kinks generally, but those communities have deep-seeded problems that make having girly hobbies hard. Most of the lolita artists I like draw erotic art (IE Gothic Lolita Artist Bible, Mihara).

INTERNET

• I think a lot of old popular lolita resources are kind of bad due to being so heavily influenced by modern sweet but still good starting points with a bit of critical thinking skills.
• Methinks a lot of lolita history is being erased by the tag filtering of modern SNS and the misinfomation on sites like Tiktok
• The lolita community needs to put more emphasis on being willing to research and read. No more hand holding.
• To go further with the above point, I think one reason people dislike a lot of popular lolita figures is because people who refuse to read take their word as gospel.
• I wish more lolitas had websites cause you can speak uncensored there. BLOGS COUNT TOO. I love blogs though I wish the static / blog crossover were higher. Blog hosts owners need to join webrings.
• I think more lolitas should have places they post outside of SNS because of the filtering of the word lolita. It will never go away completely at this point, and it is harming the subculture due to so much being difficult to find
• Projects like lolibrary and lolita-archive should be worshipped. I wish that more lolitas did their archival works on websites like that. I love Tumblr blogs archives, but one day Tumblr will DIE andthey randomly deactivate lolitas all the time.

LOLITA AS A TERM

• I think constantly fixating on Vladmir Nokabav and saying it has nothing to do with the book is annoying and weird. I just think it's unrealistic that they don't share etymologies. It's also possible and highly likely lolita wasn't even named by the people who pioneered the fashion. I think its a complicated subject that has been gone over time and time again.
• I wish that on SNS, people moved over to using terms like #sweetegl or #gothicegl in tags to avoid the filtering issue as I feel like it's getting hard to find lolitas who lack social presences unless you get really into discord communities.
• As a whole, I wish non-lolitas and lolitas are aware that we are affected by censorship in a very unique way. I am against NOT using the word lolita because that's lame, but I don't think using alternative tags is a crime either if we are going to keep conglamerating on Instagram.
• I hate Instagram.

SHOES

• I think most lolita shoes are bad, especially lolita JP brand shoes (the big brands like AP, BTSSB, etc). I don't think they are worth buying. Some lolita brands are exceptions to this though, but like... If you are going to spend a lot on shoes, please buy a leather shoe you can fix. Shoes are Not easily repaired. You don't have to replace your shoes regularly if you get a few nice pairs.
• I think people who hate on gothic and modern mary jane shoe brands in coords are elitist posers.
• A simple Mary Jane is my favorite kind of shoe, and I truly think, especially for old schoolers, you can buy a very nice Mary Jane from many places that suits your tastes that will last far longer than most lolita shoes
• Bodyline Rocking Horse Shoes should not be recommended as the go-to rocking horse shoe, especially for beginners, because they have very thin bases which contributes to the "RHS are hard to walk in" feeling
• Tea parties and modern shoes are really cute. I really like them. This isn't a take; I just want to  share I don't wear them simply because they aren't the aesthetic I'm going for
• I really like "ugly" shoes in coords, so take all of this with a grain of salt. I dislike the polished, push in modern lolita style that encourages buying really low-quality shoes because shoes can easily become the most needlessly expensive part of EGL if you are constantly replacing them. There is a big conversation about shoes and accessibility as well, but I always think there is an obvious middle ground between a "pretty lolita shoe" and an "old tennis shoe you wear for comfort"

ITA

• I don't think most modern lolitas care about 'ita' as a term anymore and tend to fixate on coords that don't suit their personal taste (nitpicking).
• I do think ita coords exist as a concept, but no one cares. You can be called ita for being the wrong weight, for having the wrong hair texture, for slightly mismatched browns.. But well, the coords that are actually ita are generally ignored nowadays
• I partially think this because sometimes I can tell a coord is just a sissy fetish coord but people compliment it anyways on sites like Reddit
• I admittedly don't care as well because my friendship with other lolitas is often build around shared knowledge/interest in the hobby rather my own perceived quality of coords, LOL.
• People, especially longterm lolitas, should be less scared of "ita" because experimenting in coords is fun. I think newbies should keep ita in mind because I do think ita exists partially to still be respectful of the fashion itself, but you know... the best coords come from experimentation!

LIFESTYLING  (+ SUBCULTURE DEFINITIONS)

• I don't really think the definition of lifestyling that exists (always wearing lolita) is how most lifestylers operate 
• The definition of always wearing lolita to be a lifestyler, to me, is a bit harmful to the subculture in that I think integrating your lolita pieces into wardrobe is still closer to lifestyling than most lolitas get
• The reason I feel this way is because of stories/mythos built around lifestylers (ie the girl who had a dress for cleaning her cat's litterbox). I think the goal of lifestyling should be making lolita MORE wearable as opposed to doing a full OTT coord everyday.
• I am transitioning out of lifestyling (slowly but surely), but at the same time, even if I don't wear EGL everyday, I feel as though the way I engage with lolita as an artist and writer and retro brand collector is a bit elaborate in a way that is hard to describe
• I wish we had a SPECTRUM TRIANGLE  from Conlita to Lifestyler that includes other ways to interact with the subculture 
• The loudest lolitas, to me, are the ones that only wear it for cons and special occasions or community meets, so other ways to engage with the subculture get erased, naturally.