Explanation (Possibly My Last Entry for A Long Time)
Posted on: 2025-04-22 14:10:00
I archived all my old entries and moved to FC2 in hopes of making my blog more positive and focusing on the beautiful things in life, but to be honest, I was in too much pain to really work on entries about my day even during happier days. Now, the physical pain is bearable, and I can write again, but anytime I try to write about my day or recent activities, I find myself sounding absolutely miserable despite my best efforts.

I can't stop reflecting on my childhood and friends who left who I hate now or who I feel mostly indifferent towards but would probably explode at them if they talked tome.

Life is okay though. I have needles all in my body from an acupunturist. I also changed majors and have a job now. I am just hurting a lot all the time. 

There is not much to say. Every time I think I start to cry. If you ever abandoned me, I really hate you and hope you burn in hell, whether or not it was your intent. You're haunting me, and it really pisses me off that I allow myself to be bothered by the likes of you.



 



Despite my poor mental state, my physical health is getting better and i was actually happy and out most of the day. i went to an antique shop and got Japanese food with Heather. I saw a beautiful episcopal church. 

It truly was a delight. I'm just mentally ill.