I struggle to write somedays because I am unsure of what to write. I recently went to a festival but I actually vlogged it which sort of ruins point of writing about it because then I'd be doing it twice and that's a bit of a pain, you know?

One thing I can write about is my neverending project frenzy and what it is culminating towards.I  joined the Noise Jam which officially starts 9/11, but starting projects early is allowed. My goal is to submit 4 projects total because I realized this jam is a good excuse to finish up my Squid Girl World stuff. EP1 is basically fully ported over and I was able to edit it really quickly too. 

Squid Girl World is pleasurable for me to work on now, which is all I wanted. Devving it in Renpy felt like nails on my brain, especially because future Renpy updates break everything sometimes. In Godot, I was able to make a simple framework that is nice and fast. Squid Girl World I always knew could be rapidly developed, but my issue is that I really struggled to find an engine I wanted to work with on it. In the end, Godot ended up being the anwer which is very funny as I never imagined using Godot for a simple VN like this years ago.

Dialogic is pretty simple though has bits of complexity I enjoy and you can alwas add more. The node workflow in Godot confused me a lot at first and is still weird at times, but I enjoy it too. I usually prefer coding everything by hand, but the visual editor in Godot is actually pretty nice. The visual editor for Dialogic is nice too though I tend to code by hand. The code is laid out so pleasantly. Very readable. Renpy is readable too of course. You can honestly make it look really similar to Renpy if you want though the calls for joining characters and stuff is different, but still nice. I like the fact that you have default transitions and everything. Really I just dislike how directories are handled, but I could fix it if I really wanted to. I just don't want to right now lmao.

Rapid development was always the ultimate goal of this series (and slower development if I really want). Write something, add sprites, bgs, some cgs, throw it out there. It's meant to almost be like a webcomic.. Homestuck. I usually hate remaking things but since SGW is so experimental, I don't mind. I even hope to get some 3D in there eventually.

I provide some context also. Squid Girl World is meant to be my most niche work but hidden within it are answers to Things lol. Context for my stories, mentionings of other characters, etcetera. It's Adventure Time inspired in a lot of ways too though much more chill in nature. More characters will come and go and more lore will be included over time. 

One reason I was interested in Dialogic is because of it's glossary function where you can highlight words and provide extra context. I saw this in They Once Had Names, but another creator who does something similar is Etherane in Mr. Rainer's Secret Solve It Service. I enjoy that.. sort of thing. It also helps me a lot cause I want SGW to be readable out of order haha, to the point where i'm considering removing the episode numbers completely (though i think 0 will always be called 0 because it is just 0 to me).

EP2 will be released too if all goes according to plan. My casual Slice of Life.

Also, I'm working on other things too.Old Omma interactive web project. I'm happy I waited until now to finish it even though it sort of enrages me hat it's been over half a year LOL. Citrus art, art from friends, my writings, etc etc. It'll be input based and invalid inputs will yield nothing. It's build in vanilla JS/HTML/CSS because I honestly didn't know how to do it lol. Why use libraries when you can go crazy go stupid?

I so happy citrus drew this I could never make something this cute. Also he seperated all the layers because I asked, and that's so great. He seperated things I wouldn't have thought of too. He's always so thorough. Smiles. 

I need to not forget about this project or else I will die. Because this will probably be more time intensive than I'm realizing, and I'm like "yeah I'm going to finish all thes eprojects for this jam that ends at the end of September." I think.. I will focus on finishing all the SGW stuff by a certain date then shift over to programming this only.

Also, my doujinshi. I've been a bit art blocked so just been making shitty drawings with lots of mistakes. Trying to not think too much to loosen back up. I want the doujinshi to look nice so I've been trying to get these worms out. Slowly getting there I think. Perhaps I work on right now. Yep yep.

Feeling good let's hope I don't stay up too late and crash out!

Oh also, if you're wondering about the 3D project. It's still in progress, but it's still a bit on backburner due to me focuisng on a lot of smaller things right now.

To be honest I've also been wondering if I'll switch over to Godot. Probably not, but think about it. 3DMZ is a bit heavy on computers while a low poly Godot build can run in browser pretty easily. I prefer to have web builds of games + DLs, and also, I want things to  run on lower end computers (and my fucking ipad browser lmao)

Godot still scares me because I am not a programmer, but people I know who are about the same level as me or a tiny bit higher have made cool stuff in Godot in the style I'm going for with the Decomposing At the End of the World. It's just that 3DMZ simplifies things a lot while Godot would take a long time to figure out, but ehh, it'd probably be worth it. Gotta learn it more thoroughly eventually naywyas. Definitely not gonna use 3DMZ forever.

BUILD DEV MUSCLE! Kill everyone who doubts you!

"please forgive me for being so upset during my period 💧💧💧"

Today was nice. I released my Toxic Yuri Jam visual novel, and it's the largest vn I've ever made. That's really good. I'm really happy about that. I have two nice comments, one from Zed, and another from a dev named deaddeaddeath who I can recognize from a game called Heatwave, which has been on my to play list for a long time. I actually recognized them abit more from their VN stock photography which I had downloaded on my old computer. I want to distribute stock too someday.

My period started today. I knew it'd be soon. I guess it has been getting earlier in the month each time. It used to start the 15th, but now it's around the 5th (today) a lot of the time. I can usually tell a week or two before it's going to start because I start cramping before most people. I surprisingly didn't feel very emotional or anything, until today.

I got overwhelmed my the state of my finances though it's okay. I put a lot of my summer money into rent for fall, so I didn't regret anything, but I just.. am tired of everything being so hard all the time. It's hard not to cry. And doing my laundry, I was counting the socks I have. So many are missing. It upsets me, but no one in my family seems to be taking it seriously even though they're responsible for the loss of these items. I'll have to wait for mom to bring them which she'll probably forget to do , so I just need to buy more, but I don't have the money to buy more- I barely have money to buy food. And I have a job waiting for me but my college always fucks me over and this time they fucked me over by changing their hiring process. And it's just hard. Everything takes so long and is so hard. It's overwhelming.

I wish I'd gone outside today. But now it's dark, and walking around at night is not really relaxing for me. I'm crying. This is so silly. Usually I can breathe and get over things, but everything is hitting all at once. It's a lot. Life is just so hard, and I want it to be easy. I really want it to be easy. It shouldn't have to be so hard. Not this hard.

But I'll be okay. I'm happy my visual novel released, and Kyou is coming tomorrow. My fern died in direct sunlight, so I'll have to throw it away while cleaning today. My stomach has been hurting which is why I waited so late in the day to clean. Silly solly. Silly me.

I miss my socks, but htis is a nice excuse to get used to handwashing again, and.. Umm.. Buy more brand socks.. yeah.. I got nice Baby socks.. And nice AATP socks... Yeah.. I have some other socks too. Lots of cherries. I own mostly brand socks now.I only lost one brand pair, my aatp socks,but well, it's not a huge loss to me because they were.. just.. striped socks.. with AATP on them.. AATP will make more..And I think they had holes in them anyways.. And.., now I can tell ym family I can't trust them to wash any of my things because of this situation.. No one ever believed me but now it has happened. No one can ever touch my things again.

I know this all to be true, yet my heart feels so heavy. I  just miss.. having all my things. I wish my manager hadn't kicked me out in and made me move in 48 hours. I wish I had a car. I wish I wasn't disabled. Relying on other people who can't do things as well as me is stressful, and it makes me want to scream at them when I feel like this. I need to clean, but maybe I'll watch an anime... An episode or two.. 

I'll be okay. The fireworks yesterday were so nice. I got a clear video too. I'm overwhelmed now and in physical pain which is making me feel worse,but I'll be okay. Maybe I'll play Just Dance.. Probably not though.. I really do just want to go to sleep. Uploading videos is an annoying process when I'm tired due to video filesbeing a bit cursed and usually coming from my phone, so I hope you don't mind if I show the fireworks when I feel a bit better.

I want to be a very positive person. It's hard when my body is this way, and there's nothing I can do about it. But I'm sure tomorrow I'll feel better.